Ghosts

The sum of a life in a flash of painful wisps,

a collection of shattered memories splinter the soul,

haunting memories you’d rather forget.

 

Where there is life, there must also be darkness,

and where there is joy, there is pain.

 

The sounds, the smells, the last words scar;

the ignorant beeping of a heartless monitor,

the touch of cold skin in a silent room.

 

Last moments, small and simple at the time.

Just another day.

Yet the mind yells in anguish, pleading to stop-

warning of incoming danger disguised with a lie.

 

I’m fine, she smiles, her airy laugh forcing me

to fake a smile as well.

Last impressions- we had the same haircut,

disobeying the doctor’s orders

as she leaned forward and shook hers around playfully.

 

False hope, misunderstood messages-

The surgery went well, a surge of relief

that would soon crash down,

drown us all, and we would welcome it.

Life support, they call it,

when it’s time to say goodbye. No hope,

no laughter, just silence as the air pumps out one

last time.

The loss cuts deep and leaves its scars,

but at least it’s over, as life moves on for some.

 

One year later, a cell phone rings-

and it is from then on I fear

its shrill cry, whispers of incoming doom,

as I hold my breath and wait for bad news.

 

What? mother answers- she’s talking to dad,

I know her expressions and her every tone. Her face changes,

causing my heart to still and anxiety to pound  

a beat in my skull.

Bullshit. She rolls her eyes,

and mutters Jackass,

convinced my dad is fooling around.

But her face falls again,

and she sets the phone aside.

Pa had a heart attack-

she finally comes out with it,

but I had already known

the expression of loss.

 

And this time, it’s worse,

so much worse-

no false hope, no goodbyes,

just a blink and he’s gone.

 

It’s better that you didn’t see him,

you can remember him as he was.

 

Sure, it’s better- now I can pretend:

he’s Up North, with Auntie,

and I’m left here,

with the ghosts etched on my skin.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: